the first 10 days
If you've come to this blog to find out more about me, buckle up. You're in for more than finding out about my coffee habits and how much I love capturing moments for people. As you read, I hope my story challenges you, gives you hope, and makes you feel connected. I think that's the real reason behind my decision to begin this blog... connection.
My name is Kimberly Mears (soon to be Kimberly Robles [pronounced robe-less]). I hail from the charmingly ugly city of Lubbock, Texas. I have been running this little business for a couple of years now, and I LOVE IT. Those are the main things you need to know about me for now; as you continue to follow this blog I promise to show you more of my heart and give you some fun facts about me each time.
In January of this year (2017) I chose to participate in a social media detox, prompted by one of my mentors (and oddly dear friends, though we've not met in person) Ash, at thedontgiveupproject.com.
I didn't have an extremely compelling reason to jump off of the social media train for 10 days, other than the fact that the detox was on sale and Ash sold me on the fact that it's meant to unlock a new space of creativity in your heart. I went in with no expectations and was met with some wonderful surprises. These ten days have changed my life.
I love social media. I love seeing what's (supposedly) going on in others' worlds; I love the creative aspects of sharing images and words; I love the feeling of being connected, so I expected to struggle through, and finish this detox ready to jump right back in.
What I found instead was a massive weight taken off of my shoulders. I realized how much pressure was building inside of me to measure up, to perform, to create. After taking a break, I realized how often I mindlessly scroll myself into numbness. I realized how many ideas and emotions I experience, become afraid of, and push under the rug that is social media. I immediately found myself free to create just because I love to, and am made to create. I realized how long it's been since I simply took a photo without analyzing who was going to like it , who I was trying to impress, and why.
As I spent time with the people in my world, unable to visit any social media, I began to be aware of the amount of time I spend in their presence, disengaged. I began to tally up the moments I had previously wasted, scrolling through someone's digital life, missing out on the real life of the soul in front of me; wasting a precious moment of connection with another human being.
I'll do what I can to fill you in on more of what I learned these ten days, but here are my big takeaways for you bullet point people.
1 JUMP OFF THE TRAIN TRACKS OF COMPARISON.
If you compare your real life to someone else’s curated platform for putting their best foot forward… you are standing on a train track. And it will hurt when you get hit with someone who is better, more beautiful, more together, etc. It is a trap. Instead of encouraging the unique thing that is only in your soul, it makes you afraid of missing an impossible target. Instead of pursuing individual purpose and calling and relationship, it encourages a pursuit of more. The message will always be: you must be skinnier. you must be prettier. you must do more. you must do less… The world doesn’t need a perfected version of what it’s asking for.. it needs what YOU have. The song you’re afraid to write. The formula you’re afraid to solve. The book you’re afraid to publish. The photo you’re too afraid to take.
2 CONNECTION OVER COMFORT
I feel sometimes as though we’ve lost the art of connection. We want to be comfortable. Facebook will only show us things we like, instagram only promotes those who are consistently active… etc. It is so much easier to scroll mindlessly than to engage in real conversation. If we run out of things to say, we retreat to the endless available profiles, photos and articles. If you are sitting in front of another human with a story and a soul… make a real connection. Ask questions. LISTEN. Turn off the notifications, and close the apps. It will probably be uncomfortable.. instead of running from that, run into it! Embrace the purifying process… it’s not necessarily fun, but the refined gold on the other side is so worth it.
3 ASK THE QUESTIONS
Sometimes the questions we are most afraid to ask is the question that will set us on the adventure of our lives if we will only be brave enough to ask. Why? why must I numb my mind with endless scrolling? why do I feel the need to compare myself to endless un achievable standards? Is it possibly because I feel that what I have will never be enough? what (or whose) standard am I measuring myself against? Perhaps if we dare to ask these questions, and deal with the potential pain and frustration, it’ll push us to a place where we might actually discover the One who knit our stories together to begin with.. maybe if we ask the questions, it will give us the space to discover why we are here and what beautiful, unique role we play in the story of our lives...
Thanks for letting me share my heart, and sticking around this long. I hope something touches you, or at least provokes some new thoughts. Until next time.